Intro: Growing in Grace
3 things about prayer and then some specific applications:
What prayer is; What prayer does; What prayer expresses;
What prayer is: Speaking to God (speaking praise & adoration to him. This aspect of prayer doesn’t change anything but our own hearts. It enables us to love him more).
John 15:7: “If you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you.”
Healthy relationships require communication. And that communication is a 2-way street where both people are involved in both listening and speaking.
If both people only speak, you have self-centered disfunction. If only one person speaks, you have a one-sided relationship rather than mutuality. If both people only listen, you have a relationship in stalemate that can’t deepen or progress.
Healthy relationships require communication in which both people listen and both people speak. And that’s true of a healthy relationship with God as well.
Obviously there are some important differences there, in the way God speaks and in the way we listen to God as opposed to any non-divine person;
But God is a person. And a relationship with him is intensely personal.
And as a person in a personal relationship with us, that relationship is healthy when it is characterized by proper communication – communication that is fitting to the nature of humans being in relationship with God.
God’s word is where we hear his voice. In God’s word, he speaks to us by his Spirit illumining the truths which he has revealed in his word.
And of course prayer is involved in that, because we listen prayerfully;
But prayer though it’s involved in listening to God, prayer isn’t primarily by itself listening. Prayer isn’t where God’s voice is heard in the Christian life. Prayer isn’t our listening; prayer is our speaking.
Prayer is our speaking to God.
Speaking our thoughts & burdens & cares & concerns to him. He knows, so don’t hide or put on a plastic smile; and he cares, so unload your burdens upon the one who’s ear you always have.
He is your father; who is always 100% present and always gives you his attentive, loving, caring ear.
He who already knows what we need loves for us to come to him to ask.
What Prayer does: Asks of God
Frequently, one of my children will say to Amy or me something like:
“Daddy did you know there’s donuts in there?” (as she points to the cupboard).
And, sometimes I’ll respond matter-of-factly and say, “yes I did know that!”
Or sometimes I’ll respond with surprise and say: “No I didn’t know that, thanks for telling me!”
Or, indifference: “That’s nice.”
Sometimes I’ll respond with what my child knows is a joke because she knows that I’m the funniest person in the world and I’ll say, “You know, I was just in the mood for some donuts, I think I’ll eat them all!”
But you know, none of those are responses are the responses she’s looking for. The response she’s looking for is “do you want one?” But I rarely ever give her that response.
Instead, after going through some of those other responses, we’ll say, “You know I’m going to say yes, but you still have to ask.”
And then she’ll ask, and then she’ll get a donut. Because if she wants a donut, she’s got to ask for it.
We have another child who also won’t ask, this child will just say, “Give me that now!”
And if only we could combine the confidence but without the sense of deservedness of the one, with the humility but without the fear, of the other.
God wants us to come to him to ask, because he wants us to see him as the giver of all good gifts; and to be confident that he loves to give us good gifts, even while we’re humble to know that we don’t deserve those gifts.
God wants us to come to him to ask, because he wants us to come to him as children come to a Father – secure in his love but unpresuming in our hearts.
And he wants to answer our requests. He wants us to ask because a question is different from a statement.
“There are donuts” doesn’t require any response besides, “oh, that’s nice”; but, “can I have a donut?” does
– And the answer could be 1 of 3 things:
(John Martin): Yes; No; Wait.
God always hears us; And he always answers. Sometimes the answer is yes; sometimes the answer is no; sometimes the answer is wait.
And sometimes the answer we get isn’t the answer we want but we know that the answer we get is an answer answered in perfect love wisdom & goodness, from our wise loving good perfect heavenly father given for our good our ultimate good.
And even though he knows what the answer is going to be, he wants us to ask.
Because prayer asks of God.
And when we speak to God, we aren’t changing anything besides our own hearts. But when we ask things of God, that does change things. Because God answers prayer.
Let me say that again: God answers prayer.
Prayer is not merely an exercise that changes us; it changes things, because God has ordained prayer as the means by which he does things – the means by which he accomplishes his will and carries out his plan. Such that there are some things that only happen or don’t happen because someone somewhere prays for them, in accordance with God’s will.
Now, this can be misunderstood, so I’ll clarify this in a minute; but, before I do so, I want to say that I’m not saying anything that ought to be controversial, but it seems to me that for people who have a rightly proper full all-embracing view of God’s sovereignty, this can be controversial.
Because we believe in God’s sovereignty, but we still evangelize (hopefully) and try to persuade people to believe in Jesus, because we know that God normally doesn’t just appear to people but saves them through the faithful witness of his people.
We believe in God’s sovereignty, but we still go to work because we know that God doesn’t normally provide for his people by dropping cheeseburgers and money out of the sky.
And so why don’t we, believing in God’s sovereignty, pray? Why don’t we ever ask for anything?
God is sovereign. “That doesn’t mean God will do things anyway, but that God will do things in a certain way.”
And one of those “certain ways” that he carries out his plan, is through the prayers of his people.
And we know that God has an eternal unchanging plan, but one of those ways that God accomplishes that plan is through the prayers of his people. From his perspective they too are part of that plan, but from our perspective they are the condition or the means by which certain things will come about and will not –
Nothing changes the eternal plan of God, but that eternal plan ordains the prayers of his people; such that when you pray, your prayer might be the thing that God uses to bring about his will and if you don’t pray, either God will not do what he otherwise could have done or he will use the prayer of another of his children, and they will receive the blessing of answered prayer instead of you.
We see this in scripture all the time. Just this week I read about King Hezekiah’s prayer (2 Kings).
King Hezekiah becomes ill – to the point of death. And the prophet Isaiah comes to him and tells him, “This is what the LORD says: Put your house in order, because you are going to die; you will not recover.”
Doesn’t sound like there’s a whole lot of reason to pray, does it?
But what does Hezekiah do? “Hezekiah turned his face to the wall and prayed to the LORD.”
And as Isaiah is on his way out, God tells him to go back and says that he will heal him, and add 15 years to his life.
Now. What is the point of that story, except to encourage us to pray because prayer is powerful and effective?
As James says: “The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective.”
And the reason that prayer is powerful, is that it looks to a powerful God; and the reason that prayer is effective, is that God has chosen prayer as one of the means by which he accomplishes what he will do.
So pray.
What could God do, Redeemer Church, if we devoted ourselves to prayer? What if we prayed that in 3 years we’d have our own building to use for more ministry to one another in the church and to those in our community? What if we prayed that in 5 years we’d be talking about planting a church in a nearby town? What if we prayed to see more people converted to Jesus? For deeper more vibrant spiritual maturity and greater love for God and one another and better witness to our world? What if we prayed that down the road we’d be sending out missionaries from within our own congregation to reach the nations for Jesus?
Maybe not all those things would happen; or not on our timeline. But maybe something would happen. Let’s pray for that.
What Prayer expresses: Need, dependence, humility.
At its most basic, prayer is 2 statements: “I love you Lord; I need you Lord.” When we ask, we express need – that we can’t save ourselves, provide for ourselves, that we lack the resources and strength that we need in ourselves and we need to find it in something – or someone – else – outside of ourselves.
Prayer is an act of dependence. When we pray we look outside of ourselves, away from ourselves, to God – in dependence upon him.
Bridges: “Prayer is the tangible expression of our dependence upon God. We may say we depend upon him, but if prayer is lacking in our lives, we deny it.”
And so, prayer is necessarily an act of humility, and so we only pray rightly when we pray humbly.
And that’s why Scripture stresses praying in Jesus’ name, or according to God’s will.
Praying in Jesus’ name is not just a magic formula that we slap on to the end of the prayer without which it doesn’t really count or isn’t really heard; no, it’s an admission of the attitude of humble submission to Jesus as our King that goes with the prayer;
it’s a desire that everything in that prayer would reflect the person in whose name it’s offered – everything that name stands for; according to his perfect will and desire and plan, and not according to the imperfect will and desire and plan of the one who offers it.
Can you imagine how terrible the prospects of God’s plan coming together in a perfect way would be if he answered all of our prayers as they were offered, not “filtered” through the name of the one in whom they’re offered?
Praying in Jesus’ name is not some way to be excited that now I can get all the things I want; it’s a safety-net to filter my prayers to keep them from being disastrous.
Prayer is offered in humility, because it is an expression of utter dependence upon the hearer of the prayer – even dependence that the hearer of the prayer knows the better answer than the one doing the asking.
I mentioned the prayer of a righteous man earlier – Hezekiah’s prayer which God answers by granting it.
But I should also mention the prayer of an even more righteous man – a man of perfect righteousness – Jesus; because he prayed a prayer to let the cup of suffering pass, but God answered that prayer by denying it.
And Jesus of course knew what God’s answer would be because he knew God’s plan; he knew the right and necessary path that he would walk; but he still prayed it; but even as he prayed that the cup would pass from him, he prayed it in submission to the will of his Father: “but not my will, but yours be done.”
And if his prayer wasn’t answered, we know that sometimes our prayers won’t be answered but that i’s not because God doesn’t hear us or love us.
And that is the heart of prayer – an attitude of humility and dependence which submits itself to the one who knows best and who is in control and who is working out his perfect plan even in those times when we can’t see it.
And so we never demand from God, we ask of him; we approach God’s throne with confidence, but never presumption or arrogance – confidence that is humble, because it knows that we can approach but only because we’ve been invited by grace.
When we pray we’re not demanding something of God or claiming something from God, we’re asking, and leaving it in his hands and waiting for his answer in humility.
How to pray:
1. Pray without ceasing:
Just as scripture tells us to meditate on God’s word day and night, so Scripture tells us to pray continuously – without ceasing.
Because our communication with God ought to be a conversation that never stops.
If he is the most central person in all the universe, and our relationship with him is the most central thing about our identity, then our communication with him out to be central to all things.
We praise & love him in all things; we need him for & through all things; and so we pray in all things.
Of course, meditating on scripture day & night doesn’t mean we are always reading our bibles and praying unceasingly doesn’t mean we always have our eyes closed knees bowed in prayer. We live life; we work at our jobs; we enjoy recreation in God’s creation; we rest.
But through all that, we keep the conversation going. We think about God and his truth; we orient our hearts and minds towards him; we pray while we are living life or when we have an unoccupied moment in life – such that we don’t need a special time to occasion the beginning of prayer, or a certain length of time that we need to devote before we can begin to pray, or even a special beginning or prerequisite to prayer but we can simply resume the conversation where we left off.
We can offer a word of thanks to God; we can offer a word of praise to God; we can take a moment for confession of sin; we can ask for strength in a tough moment for patience or contentment or self-control; we can pray for someone or something God has put on our heart.
(pray without ceasing)
2. Pray with special focus:
We ought to pray unceasingly; but be careful of using the command to pray unceasingly as an excuse to never really pray at all – because it can and will become that.
If you just sort of, “Oh I pray throughout the day” and that’s the extent of your prayer life, your prayer life won’t be what it ought to be; and it might not really be there at all.
Because we assume that we will pray tomorrow and that we did pray yesterday more than we actually will or did and so we don’t pray today.
And having designated times of special focused prayer protects against that, and it guards against your times of unceasing prayer from becoming empty prayers.
Have designated times of specially focused prayer. Whether it’s in the morning or at night or at some time during the day that works for you – whenever it is, have a time of specially focused prayer. When your eyes are closed. Your head is bowed. Maybe your on your knees – whatever it takes to be able to direct your soul to God and focus your mind and heart on him in way that you can’t when you’re doing something else.
3. Pray in solitude:
Praying in solitude means praying without distractions – or at least with the desire to minimize the distractions.
Same goes for reading God’s word – I meant to include this last week and I forgot, but generally speaking, I encourage people not to read God’s word on their phone. if you’re at home and there’s bibles all around, use an actual bible – that won’t try to distract you from itself like your phone bible will.
Likewise: especially during your times of focused prayer, don’t pray with your phone buzzing notifications right in front of you.
put it away. leave it in another room. turn it off – those things do turn off!
If you’re married, you know that probably your spouse wants to have conversations with you without your phone in the middle of that conversation. And the reason is that then you can have a better conversation! You can give it the attention that it needs and the priority that it deserves! And that’s all the more true in our conversing with God as well.
It’s ok to miss some things. It’s good to have some solitude from the noise of the world around you – that’s true even when you’re not praying, but especially so when you are wanting to focus on something of deeper significance.
Some of us need to take back our lives from our phones. Many of us need to take back our spiritual lives and our prayer life from our phones.
4. Pray with fasting:
fasting is a spiritual discipline that seems to have gone out of fashion; it’s not commanded in the NT but it’s assumed and practiced by NT believers and by Jesus himself.
Fasting is an aid to prayer, because it is a way to focus more intensely in prayer and because it teaches us of the spiritual realities that go along with prayer.
Fasting is the spiritual discipline of reminding ourselves of our total and utter dependence upon God; the heightened hunger you feel while fasting reminds you of your physical dependence upon food, and as a spiritual discipline it reminds you of your spiritual dependence upon God in all things;
and when it’s normally very easy to forget about our need to look to God in prayer, it’s not as easy to forget your physical hunger and resulting weakness – and fasting interrupts the distractions of life, and calls the attention of your soul towards God – and draws your mind and heart away from the temporal things of this life and towards God.
5. Pray with actual words:
Don’t let your prayer be a daydream followed by “Amen”. Actually speaking your words enables you to form your thoughts into expression.
And, it will be hard at first. It may feel awkward, or discouraging when you try to form those actual words and not as much comes to expression as you assumed it would.
But keeping working at that will make your prayers richer and fuller than they will become otherwise.
6. Pray the words of scripture: Sometimes we don’t know what to pray. Well, God hasn’t left us alone to figure it out. He’s given us abundant help – because the word of God is filled with the prayers of God’s people.
Think about that: God’s word – God speaking to us – a big part of what God says to us, is he says to us what his people say to him to teach us what to say to him!
That’s how children learn to speak! They don’t sit down with a grammar text-book and a dictionary; no, they listen in on the speaking of others. And that’s one way the children of God learn to speak to God – they listen in on the older, more mature children of God speaking to God in the prayers of scripture – and not just in the prayers of scripture but all of scripture can be an aid to prayer because it can either be prayed or be responded to in prayer.
7. Pray the prayer that Jesus taught us:
Not only does God’s word give us examples to pray, but Jesus’ own disciples asked Jesus the Son of God, “How should we pray?” And Jesus said, “You should pray like this”:
And so if you don’t know what to pray, pray through the Lord’s prayer. Pray through each line and take a minute to pray reflectively on what each line asks for – and if you pray through the lord’s prayer you will have just prayed a full
8. Pray A.C.T.S:
A helpful acronym for the 4 main categories of prayer in scripture:
Adoration: praising God for who he is and what he has done for us, to give us a heart of love for God.
Confession: confessing our sin and need for his forgiveness, to give us a heart of humility before God.
Thanksgiving: Thanking God for his many blessings and good gifts in our lives, to give us a grateful content generous heart.
Supplication: This is the actual asking part. Making requests to God.
9. Pray as an act of love:
One of the ways we love one another, is by praying for one another.
Praying for others is a way to love them, because: 1) your prayer may be answered; 2) the act of praying readies you to love them in other ways.
there’s nothing more powerful to pull you out of self-centeredness or self-absorption and to orient you towards other people in practical love and service, as praying for them in private.
A lot of people think that prayer is sort of an unpractical, pietistic thing that doesn’t actually help people – and that can be true, but it shouldn’t be true because when we pray love for our brothers and sisters in Christ we are more readied to act in love towards our brothers and sisters in Christ.
10. Pray with others:
Join a community group, where believers gather together to pray with and for one another.
Pray with your spouse; pray with your children.
Prayer with others spurs on your own private prayer life.
11. Pray simply:
Don’t forget that a simple prayer is a beautiful prayer. A long complex prayer can be the ugliest of prayers, but a short simple honest prayer can be the most beautiful.
When we pray with our kids at bedtime, we ask each one what they want to thank God for.
And I remember the first time Elise said, instead of cookies or toys, she said: “I want to thank God for how much he loves us.”
In my objective unbiased totally detached opinion, that is the most beautiful prayer in all of human history.
Let’s commit ourselves to being children of God who are devoted to praying to our God.
12. Simply Pray:
“Never ignore the inclination to pray.”